aggiepie's tabulas

I did something drastic to my hair. It's not as drastic as having it bleached. Nor going skinhead. But for someone non-adventurous like me, who's had curly hair that frequently hung past the shoulders, occasionally layered or V-shaped, but always tiable in a ponytail (default hairstyle for days when I'm busy and haven't got time to fix my hair, or lazy, or lacking in creativity), having it cut to chin level and relaxed is definitely a BIG CHANGE for my hair.

I've been contemplating on getting a different 'do for a long time now. I intended it to be like Rory's new hair in the Gilmore Girls, but the hairdresser layered it much shorter , I can only wear clips and headbands. But I can't wear clips and headbands, at least for the first month. Nor tuck the strands beneath my ears, coz it's gonna produce unwanted waves on my newly relaxed hair.

The long curls never weighed me down (esp since I have fine hair) but this new 'do feels so light. And it looks sophisticated (just the hair, ok?! ). It's very nice tonight actually coz the hairdresser blowdried it thoroughly. I just hope it's still gonna look good in the days to come, after the post-parlor effects have been washed-out.

   

tab·u·la ra·sa n. pl. tab·u·lae ra·sae.

Latin tabula, tablet + Latin räsa, feminine of räsus, erased.

1: a. The mind before it receives the impressions gained from experience. b. The unformed, featureless mind in the philosophy of John Locke.

2: A need or an opportunity to start from the beginning, without prejudice.

syn. fresh start, clean slate

And that's exactly what I intend to do with my Tabby! 

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It’s a Friday night... And I’ve got nowhere to go, and nothing to do. Met up with friends last week. Had dinner at Burgoo, at the Promenade, of the new and coño-fied Greenhills. I was also post-duty then, but very very tired... I slept at Starbucks, and went home at 12 mn (while my friends were together until 4 am)! Sorry, Flummoxed, for being such a killjoy! I luv you lots and miss you sorely, and the spirit is willing, but the flesh was just too tired and sleepy.

 

ZZzzz...^^
shhh -->

<-- Parallel Universe. I took this pic. I think it's very cute!

<p><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">Dawn does yoga, Leo climbs mountains, Joshua rides his mountain bike, Marlene's got her crafts, Aicee's enrolled in gym class, Markang does aikido, Peewee does capoeira, Christine's got her sketches, my dormmate dances jazz, my blockmate's <em>roommate's</em> taking belly dancing lessons... While I'm at the bluddy hospital, day in and day out, taking clinical histories and examining patients, poking needles up their arms, retracting open body cavities, dealing with disagreeable stuff (blood, pus, tumors, viscera, viruses, etc.), and even more disagreeable people. Ok, so I watch Korean flicks, surf the net, read, write, eat, sleep and drink lots of coffee and C2 (which I discovered only recently). But that's basically my life as it is, no more, no less. And lately, I've been wanting to do something different... something exciting, but not of the medical kind (had to put in that qualifier, since we <em>do</em> get&nbsp;a&nbsp;lot of excitement this side&nbsp;of the world!). Something artsy-fartsy perhaps... one that will get the <em>other</em> cerebral hemisphere working.</font></p> <p><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">At the least, something that will get me out of the hospital, and break the routine&nbsp;of medical school.</font></p> <p><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">Got any ideas? </font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">Don't wanna cross-stitch, nor cook though (I'm currently watching <a href="http://www.imbc.com/tv/drama/propose/index.html" target="_blank">Delicious Proposal</a>, and all the food there is just making me hungry <img src="http://s.tabulas.com/ik/smilies/yellow/lick.gif" border="0" />, not really piquing my interest in cookery. <img src="http://s.tabulas.com/ik/smilies/yellow/chef.gif" border="0" /></font></p> <p><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">* * * * *<br /></font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">I received an sms at 6:40 am <img src="http://s.tabulas.com/ik/smilies/yellow/shock.gif" border="0" />, asking for an assist at the OR. I was barely awake then, since I don't officially have to be in the hospital until 7 am. So I had to rush through my morning rituals, including taking a bath (of course!), but only to have my wet hair crammed into a surgeon's cap for the next 3 hrs... And now, IT'S FLAT! The ends are sticking out though, owing to some persistent disulfide bridges; and there's this pesky lock of hair, sticking out to the side, like Astroboy's, <img height="30" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/aggiepie/astroboy.jpg" width="30" border="0" />which I can't tie in a ponytail, since my hair's short now. Not that I regret having had my curls chopped off; in fact, <strong>having my hair cut short was one of the most liberating things I've ever done in my entire life </strong>(I'm such a chicken!).</font></p> <p><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">Bad hair days are here to stay, whether one's hair is long and curly, or short and straigh-<em>ish</em>. </font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">I'm just gonna have it fixed when I shift out of the OR-procedure/assist-surfeited general surgery service and into bloody (quite literally!) trauma with its post-duty status.</font></p> <p><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">But during the shifting out/in,&nbsp;I'll be on duty Saturday AND Sunday... for 48 hours, straight!!!! <img src="http://s.tabulas.com/ik/smilies/yellow/sour.gif" border="0" /></font></p> <p><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">I need a break. Not just a kitkat. Though I wouldn't mind a kitkat for now. <img src="http://s.tabulas.com/ik/smilies/yellow/innocent.gif" border="0" /></font></p> <p><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">* * * * *<br /></font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">Dawn and Chatch are free for a movie/coffee/chat this weekend, Phoebe's dvd player is finally fixed for our long overdue K-fest, and Ethel's coming home... how could I possibly fit in my social life into my crazy schedule!??!! <img src="http://s.tabulas.com/ik/smilies/yellow/hypno.gif" border="0" /></font></p> <p><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">* * * * *<br /></font><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="1">I received the following email: Whew! ----- really does like you on Friendster... You put yourself on the line, risked it all and it has paid off richly. Damn Cute Boy (not his real name) has accepted your invitation to be Friendsters!&quot; <img src="http://s.tabulas.com/ik/smilies/yellow/rasp.gif" border="0" /></font></p>

It’s so depressing. No, I didn’t bawl nor cried my eyes out, not even shed a tear. But the movie left me with a very heavy load in my heart. The title alone--“Christmas in August.”--is suggestive of somebody dying (think Sweet November, Autumn in New York, Autumn in My Heart...) and very early in the movie, we already see Jung-won (played by Han Suk Gyu, who looks like a cross between Willie Nep and Mr. Calisura) on regular check-up at a hospital. His exact condition wasn’t specifically stated, and I can only surmise it’s some brain or CNS pathology because of the mention of an MRI. But his eventual death was clearly established. We knew from the start that he was dying.

And Jung-won knew that he was dying. He was actually preparing for it. One of the saddest scenes from the movie was when he was leaving notes for his technologically-challenged father on how to operate the VCR. He also went out with old friends for the last time, and he even took his own memorial picture.

But Darim (Shim Eun Ha) didn’t know that Jung-won was dying. And she fell in love with him. There he was, confronting his own mortality, waiting for the inevitable to come and take him, when suddenly, love takes hold of him first. And I guess, for someone who is about to die, finding love is one of the most unexpected things to happen. An ironic, bittersweet surprise. (“Love moves in mysterious ways...”, but NOT the Nina version!) But Jung-won decided to take the plunge, and fell in, *heart* first. As Director Hur Jin Ho said in one interview: Christmas in August--stripped of important detail that the guy was dying--was a movie about falling in love.

So Jung-won and Darim carried on with their relationship, doing what two people in love normally do: go out on dates, stroll with their arms linked, hang out with each other a lot, etc. He tried to lead a normal life as possible, and his last days on earth were happy and lived to the fullest. He kept his illness a secret from Darim, however, and when he was very near death, he disappeared from her world without a trace. That scene where he was watching her from the coffee shop window, silently bidding farewell, letting her go, yet continuing to love her, was very heartbreaking.

Phoebe (my best friend and Korean mentor) and I initially thought that Darim never found out that Jung-won died. That he just left her hanging, wondering if what they had was real... which is very cruel. So our desire for a better ending (not necessarily happy with Jung-won dying and all, and it would be utterly absurd if he lives), but less tragic, more absolving, led us to believe that Darim eventually found out about Jung-won's condition. He left behind a boxful of letters and pictures, which was found either by the sister (which Phoebe thinks) or the father (which is what I think... coz Jung-won entrusted the photo shop to his father, also leaving written instructions on how to operate the developing machine). We only have Darim’s photograph on the shop’s window as evidence for this, but we believe that the letters in the same box were mailed to her. This is what Phoebe and I want to believe. Either that, or we’re just nagbubulagbulagan (copyright@Ender’s Girl). Peace out!

Jung-won spared Darim the pain of having to deal with his death, but erased whatever doubts she had about their relationship. He affirmed that what they shared, even if it lasted only for a short time, was real and special.

“Christmas in August” is a very good movie. I like it! But it’s not something I could easily share with other people, i.e. “Watch it. It’s good.” Because:

1. IT'S SAD.

2. It’s not visually attractive. I’m not saying the cinematography sucks. It actually won Best Cinematography (among other awards) in the 1998 Korean Film Awards. But there are no pretty flowers, gentle raindrops, snow, or lush greenery as in the season dramas. Rather, the scenes are of common everyday life. Yes, it’s pretty dreary, but in a good way coz it adds to the atmosphere of the movie. I like how the passing cars cast moving lights on Jung-won‘s dim little studio. Even the characters are ordinary people--a photographer, a lady cop... It’s more realistic, with the lead not being the heir apparent to some large company. There are no twisted family relations, no evil stepmom, nor pushover dad (just a techno-phobic one!).

3. There are a lot of slow and silent scenes that not a lot of people would appreciate. Asian films, not just Korean films, are generally slower and quieter than their Western counterparts (remakes?). Hollywood-produced films are replete with exciting action sequences, loud sounds, special effects, and they practically spell out everything for you. Asian films, on the other hand, are more subdued, rife with raw feeling, and a lot of times “nothing happens”, i.e. character looks pensively into space, and the only sounds we hear are his breathing and occasional sighing (he’s not even thinking out loud/talking to himself!) and this can go on for several seconds. I remember watching Kurosawa’s “Kagemusha” and “Dreams” in high school and they bored me (chikahan na lang kame nina Dawn and Marma sa likod about “colors”. hehe! ); Phoebe also admitted she wasn’t paying attention then. A classmate who saw “Il Mare” commented on how “mashadong tahimik at mabagal”  the movie was. Yet, Phoebe, Lexi, Maffy and I love “Il Mare”! I have yet to see “Kagemusha” and “Dreams” again, but I guess, I am more appreciative now of the “slowness” and “quietness” and “nothing happen-ness” of Asian films. Been surfing the Korean wave for several months now, and my taste  for Western movies is underdeveloped lately, owing to my lack tof time to watch movies (in the cinema) and the high prices of movie tickets!

But I digress. Sorry.

“Christmas in August” is Hur Jin Ho's directorial debut, and for a first film, it is very well-crafted (and HJH won a Best Director award for it!). Likewise, Han Suk Gyu and Shim Eun Ha's portrayal of their respective roles was effective, restrained, yet resonating. SEH won the Best Actress award for her performance as Darim.

“Christmas in August” is sad, but without trying to be manipulative. It is about falling in love without the frills. It focuses more on the little things--shared ice cream, a lazy afternoon nap, a walk in the rain under a common umbrella--that when come together, form the bigger picture of life.

"As a result of their participation in the process designed to turn them into technically competent physicians, interns and residents are forced to surrender the very ideals that brought them to medicine in the first place. We come to medicine with little knowledge or skill, but filled with humanism and commitment. As we train and are transformed into intellectually capable physicians, we become jaded, bitter and angry--angry at the hospital for demanding that we work so hard and so long, angry at the nurses and the rest of the staff who we believe treat us poorly, and worst of all, angry at the patients, the very people whom we've come to medicine to help, whom we now view as our enemies, the force that has come between us and our ability to get to sleep."

"ROTATIONS: The 12 Months of Intern Life"
by Robert Marion, M.D.

I've been having this blasted allergic rhinitis  for a couple of days now. It started when I was on duty 2 nights ago. I was at the ER from 7 pm - 1 am, and it was SO HOT... like hell!!!! The Pedia section of the ER was being fumigated, so the airconditioning was turned off, and it was so hot, that being out in ordinary weather feels like being in an airconditioned room, and the X-ray/CT scan room (the coldest place in the hospital) is the South Pole. The electric fans we brought couldn't generate even a tad bit of breeze; their motors only overheating more than the usual. And the air in the ER was a fusion of sweat + blood + pus + pee + poo (earlier in the day, we had a Pt who had hematochezia--bloody stools--and the stench was horrible! And it went off in a *projectile* motion; thankfully, no one was in the "line of fire" ) + recycled human breath.

So when Maoui and I switched posts at 1 am, so I was now monitoring at the wards from 1 to 7 am, there was a huge temperature gradient, and drastic changes in temperature are a trigger for my allergies (I identified this trigger in HS, since I would get attacks whenever I would return to Manila for school, from vacation in Baguio; of course, other triggers are dust, smoke, strenous physical activity, shrimps, crabs, stress, etc.).

I've been sneezing all day. I couldn't have infected the babies though, since my sneezes are of allergic, not infectious etiology. It's distressing, still. I hope the sniffles are gone tomorrow coz I'll be on duty again. And I hope the ER's not sizzling anymore.

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I came across this nice piece of blog entry. It features some interesting characters from high school. The writer takes pride in having a good command of the English language, and indeed, the piece is well-written... in English (if I may add).

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I haven't started writing our Class History for the yearbook.

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Papa nang tunay si Joshua! Congrats to you and Shanida for a baby girl. Welcome to the world, Frances <insert second name here na pinag-iisipin pa ng tatay mo sa ngayon>! I was su-jesting "Marsha Lou", since you were born on its 33rd anniversary.  I doubt you'll like it though when you're old enough.

I conducted/escorted/accompanied a patient this pm, for Panorex at the nearest dental clinic, which is at the heart of Robinson's Mall. What a queer little procession we must have been--the patient, strapped to his stretcher; being wheeled in by a couple of EMTs in their smart grey uniform; and led by moi, with my stet and sphyg slung over my shoulders--making our way towards the dental clinic in the middle of the mall... and stopping many a surprised shopper! Yet even I am weirded out by our little mall misadventure.

I luv those nifty little reminder notes that you can stick on to your desktop, like post-its!  They're so cute and colorful. And can be downloaded from here.

And I luv that guy with the magnifying glass!